Happy Anniversary on July 10th

In about a week I will celebrate my 17th wedding anniversary to a wonderful man and now I sit here and think of the wonderful family that came about because of my husband, Mike.

Mike has given me so much love, respect, commitment, push, support and patience throughtout the 20 "sum" odd years we have known each other. I couldn't ask for a better husband or father to my children.

My daughter, now 16 and growing up faster than I can keep up with physically, emotionally, you name it, is my saving grace. She made a CD once with songs that touch her soul and the song that touched mine is "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina Mcbride. The words say so much; she is my soul and I can see it in her eyes. She is everything I want to be and more, I couldn't love or be more proud of this amazing girl. I am grateful for the moments I have with her.

My boys - they remind me of my youth. They go and go and keep going. Their energy, love, humor, and closeness to each other reminds me that I am blessed and can only look forward to spending my life watching them grow into men, men that will take care of their momma when she is old and ailing. :)

Kahil Gibran wrote that our children are not our children, they are the souls of tomorrow. He said we can strive to be like them but should not strive to make them like us. I am blessed to have these three children that remind me to strive to be kind instead of right, to be thankful instead of complaining and to simply laugh and smile at the world because it truly is that simple.

I love you Mike, Lexi and the boys. I am blessed beyond means to have them all in my life.

Love This Life!!

Gratitude for my family

I often lay awake at night for hours trying to find ways to get myself to sleep . . . for my sake, for Mike's sake, for my kids' sake . . . for heaven's sake.

I try reading, watching tv, listening to music . . . most usually work, but today for the first time after true inspiration, I try writing.

A song I have heard again recently, under very different circumstances, has struck a chord with me in a way I cannot quite explain, it is "The Leader of the Band" by Dan Fogelberg.

I went to San Diego with my mom and my sister-in-laws recently and heard Dr. Wayne Dyer's daughter sing this song to him as he was reminded that at 70 years old his body was suffering from terminal cancer. It has been with me since, so tonight as I struggle with insomnia, I will comment on it.

I am not sure who the leader of the band is in my life. I sense I lead many a band, followed a few leaders, well and un-well, but whether or not we produced "music" is a question left unanswered.

I was given a gift by my family, the Justice family, that I cannot deny. My father, my mother, and all my brothers. Each one taught me many lessons that I am so grateful for and will cherish forever.

My brothers may have lead a different path, or a similar one trod differently or chosen at a different time and circumstances, but we stay connected very deeply on these paths we lead in our lives.

Thank you dad for your stories of history, you taught me to appreciate our past and that we can learn and always acquire knowledge. I am a learner and a teacher for that reason.

Thank you mom for your sincere love, shown in your own way, thank you for your beautiful spirit, it has guided me throughout my life in a way unknown to me, but a way that is benefitting me every moment of my life. Thank you for your inspiration, I have found my soul, because of you I can give back to others.

Thank you Mark for your sense of humor and timing. I have always and still am so proud of you and your brilliance.

Thank you Chris for your sweet quiet spirit, I know and can feel your love.

Thank you Matt and Tim for your spontaneous fun and gregariousnous, wow - good times!

Thank you Mikey for teaching me that with perseverance we can accomplish great things.

Thank you Dave, our baby angel, you saved mom, I know this. I gained a sense of what it was like to care for another person and soul when you came into our lives and I thank you for this.

I am gratitude and gratitude guides my life.

I read somewhere that we should give everyone a chance to show us their good side, it may be a LONG while, but they will eventually show us their good side. I have seen the good side of every last one of my family members and I love them so.

Happy Anniversary Mike!

On July 10, 1993, 16 years ago, Mike and I were married in my backyard with our friends and family there to witness it. We were absolutely in love and although a little anxious, ready to take on the "big world" outside of that small community we called home. Looking back through our wedding album I can't believe how young we looked. I absolutely loved my wedding dress, it suited me perfectly then, went with my big hair, I need to pull it out and see if it still fits so I can feel like a princess again (there is a lot of girl in me)!

Some of the moments that still stick in my mind some 16 years later would be walking down "the aisle" (or grass where my brothers and I played some competitive wiffleball and kickball games) and seeing all of our friends and family there to support us. We had a big wedding, I think it was expected with me being the only girl. My parents had spent many hours preparing our yard to be "perfect"and it was beautiful that day. I remember it being windy and was worried about my hair, pretty sure I had to touch everything back up before the reception. Walking down the aisle I felt at ease seeing Mike, standing alongside his brother and good friends, looking understandably nervous but oh so handsome. I knew I was a lucky woman and was proud that I would be Mrs. Michael Gagon.

A friend of the family married us and as in most weddings the crowd stands for the bride and then asks them to be seated for the ceremony . . . Mr. Wakefield forgot to tell them all to sit down, so they stood the whole ceremony! Quite funny now. My youngest brother David served as the ring bearer and he was cute and sweet, although didn't smile much, actually looked like he was pouting. I remember David's childhood vividly, from the time he was born when I was given a lot of responsibility to care for him up until he carried our rings down the aisle for us. Dave was always the angel in our family with his blonde hair and fair skin, he still is but I attribute it more to his loving disposition and compassion for everyone.

My friends stood in my line and I planned out the typical "bridesmaid" dresses for them . . . pink, frilly, bows, matching shoes . . . I wonder whatever happened to those dresses? I laugh now, but after seeing the movie 27 Dresses recently, I realize they were not that bad. It is funny how pink has always suited me, I was rough and tough with my brothers my whole life and played sports and thought of myself as a "tom boy", but I still loved bows and frill and pink!

I remember more than anything feeling so incredibly lucky to have a man in my life that had been there for me through our high school years, taught me to believe in myself and never accepted anything but my very best in all I did. He taught me to work hard and be proud of my accomplishments, and I know we have both learned that our marriage, like so many others, is hard work and we are so proud of where we are at in our lives today. I had complete faith in him then that he would support and honor me throughout our life and I still believe that these 16 years later. I love you Mike . . . here's to 16 more years and counting!

Ryan and Braden gagons fun

he my name is ryan and this is my brother braden me and brady love to golf so does are dad and mom so does are sister we just went the other day i shot a fifty seven brady shot a seventy one we also love basketball we have a basketball hoop i shoot hoops every night and i golf most of the nights we also live at the driving range and the golf course

what a good day

Golf

Mike, Lexi and I went up yesterday to golf an 18 hole round with my brother Tim. It was a beautiful sunny day and I had planned this earlier in the week hoping Mike would be able to go and knowing Lexi and Mike would enjoy spending time with me and my family doing something they love.

From the beginning, we set up the competition . . . I carted up with Tim and Lexi and Mike were paired together. This course, River Oaks, was narrow and spotted with hazards everywhere, so I could tell that I would need to be consistent to make a decent score and not embarass myself and frustrate Mike. Keep in mind, I just came off a round the night before with Mike where I missed the ball 4 times (2 times in a row) and in our world, this is unacceptable. Mike would say that there is no excuse for missing the ball and I would agree but recognize it is a simple lack of focus and concentration on my part and unfortunately I have a hard time focusing . . . a lot! So, it came down to Lexi and I up against each other, keep in mind she does usually beat me by atleast 4-6 strokes and we were all out for gross score, so I had to step up!

The first hole was a total embarassment as I couldn't seem to make any solid contact, I gave myself a courtesy 10, Mike said it was a 12, but I was too flustered to look back and re-count over and over. Hole #2 was better, but not great . . . if I can call it a double or triple bogey I feel like it at least has some significance. I finally caught fire after hitting the green on the first par 3 and sinking my 30 foot putt for birdie. I found my confidence. It amazes me as Lexi just plays each hole without a lot of stress or worry, I wish I could do that. We ended nine holes with seven strokes in my favor.

On the back, Lexi came on and with each hole narrowed the score. Oh, and the loser was set to do dishes at Tim's house, I just wanted to win, knew I would end of doing dishes either way.

Things were staying tight and as we approached the last few holes. Tim thought I had a 50/50 chance with two to go. He gave me a slight advantage on one of the remaining holes and her on the other . . . I take it he must have been sizing up both our games the whole time.

At one point, while I layed on the grass to feel the sun (with beer in hand) Tim commented that he liked Lexi's chances . . . it didn't stop me from enjoying the sunshine and my beer but did ignite some spark in me to pick it up!

Lexi came back with a 2 stoke lead going into the last hole. Teeing up the hole 18, another par 3, thinking about my horrific sand experience from a hole back (5 or 6 whacks at it in the sand, we all argued what it was - I was told to take a courtesy 10 and get the heck off the green but did NOT and finished with an 11 on that horrific par 4). As Tim said, "That will always mess up a round!" Regardless, I am a competitor, and as Mike has taught me and pulling from my competitive Justice spirit I found that desire to finish strong and Never Say Die!

Well, Lexi teed off and hit left - almost OB. I hit slightly left of the green myself but with good distance and with a shot at a reasonable chip and putt to the hole. Lexi hit her shot short and then short again only to land her ball in a hole (she still is my kid and I felt bad for her, but realized this was my chance). I chipped about 8 feet out and unfortunately left my putt short for par to win (as Tim would say you miss 90% of the putts you leave short). I finished with bogie and Lexi left a shorter putt for double to win short too, she tapped in to tie! What a round of golf - I truly love the competition. I can't let my kid beat me! :D JK - I love to see her do well, but like to stay competitive!

Well, after we made it back to Tim's and after an attempt at "rock, paper, scissors" to break the tie - I ended up helping Tim with dinner and did a little clean-up as predicted. Now my child, well she did nothing! Oh to be 15 again!

It still was a great round of golf! Mike had a great time and I absolutely loved seeing my brother and playing golf with him. I don't get to spend the time I like with them and so I will take every moment and cherish it! Keep in mind . . . Tim, Lexi and I are three members of what Matt and Tim and calling, "Team Ram Rod" to play in the upcoming parrothead tourney in Aug so we must get up again soon to practice. Or as Mike would suggest, I just need to get to the driving range to work through some of "my issues".

Golf . . . "what a ball!"